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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28690887">At the End of the Day, It's Y2K</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/grotkingji/pseuds/grotkingji'>grotkingji</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>90s Pop Culture, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bittersweet, Bottom Seo Changbin, Childhood Friends, Coming Out, End of the World Talk, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, House Sitting, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, Making Out, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Rimming, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, Tension in general, Top Kim Seungmin, Unhappy Ending, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Y2K, coming of age i guess, set in 1999</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:41:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,411</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28690887</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/grotkingji/pseuds/grotkingji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The last thing on Seo Changbin's holiday to-do list is house sit for his parents who so lovingly decided that this year, they weren't going to take him on their pre-Christmas trip. What doesn't even make the cut for his list is his best friend Kim Seungmin, who arrives unannounced smelling like rain and holding onto years of secrets.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Seungmin/Seo Changbin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Be Kind: Rewind! | SKZ 90s Fic Fest</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>At the End of the Day, It's Y2K</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic is very very loosely based off of my prompt song Boom Boom Boom Boom by Vengaboys and it turned out a lot more :(( sad times than the song,, Changbin gets Seungmin in his room though so I hit the mark there I guess. Rereading this all while listening to it is actually super ironic. </p><p>I apologise for any inconsistencies with keeping with the 90s era, I had to research bc i missed the mark to be a 90s kid lmao</p><p>Pls enjoy !!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn’t odd for Changbin and his family to go on a trip prior to the Christmas season. They enjoyed making a big deal out of the festivities with quiet lodge retreats but what was odd about this year was that Changbin’s family was going without his sister and him. His parents had decided this year they wanted a couples retreat or something along those lines and while he could respect that, it meant he was stuck with the task of house sitting due to the fact that his sister had immediately planned a similar trip with her friends upon hearing the news. He had to leave his somewhat irresponsible flatmate Jisung to hold down their cramped studio apartment for two weeks and the image of coming back to a complete pigsty drained Changbin of any excitement he had about going back to his childhood home. </p><p>One thing that the looming panic over a trashed apartment couldn’t shake came in the form of Changbin’s best friend; Kim Seungmin. </p><p>~</p><p>They’d been friends for what felt like forever to Changbin, the chubby face of his friend when they first met was almost a fuzzy memory. His parents said they were inseparable in their younger years and they were right, both boys practically grew up together. With growing older things change, like friend groups becoming larger, puberty, college, work… Moving out. It was just unrealistic for them to be attached at the hip when they had their own schedules and sure, it caused a little bit of a rift between them in the beginning. It was weird when Changbin got his first job in highschool, working part time at a fast food joint. </p><p>“Saving up for something?” The slow realisation their hangouts wouldn’t happen as often sent a sinking feeling into fourteen year old Seungmin’s stomach. </p><p>“Nah. Not really,” Changbin kicked a rock off the pavement and adjusted his backpack on his shoulder, “I just want to do something by myself for once.” </p><p>Seungmin tried not to take Changbin’s response to heart. He knew it wasn’t malicious and he understood where his friend was coming from but it still stung nonetheless, “Cool…”</p><p>They found a new normal after that. Changbin graduated highschool and Seungmin followed a year later. If anything, they had become closer. Changbin landed a full time job at their local video store and was offered to move to a store in the inner city with a manager position. College wasn’t really his thing, and if he had a stable job why would he want to risk that? Seungmin on the other hand went to college, which was typical because everyone expected that of him. And it wasn’t just that it was expected of him, he genuinely wanted to study but not everything turns out peachy and it was a shock to their small circle when he dropped out halfway through his second year. </p><p>‘A mental break or something’ is what Seungmin dismissively described it as and Changbin didn’t really feel like asking him about it further, something about Seungmin’s weird, nonchalant attitude told him it wasn’t the time. The year that followed was strange. Seungmin went M.I.A for the most part, only dropping into Changbin’s apartment randomly every few months or so for the most obscure reasons and leaving before there was a chance to be sat down for “a talk.” Changbin never saw his CD Walkman or Backstreet Boys tour shirt again. </p><p>~</p><p>It had been cloudy since he woke up. Perfect. Nothing like the possibility of rain to get into the cozy mood. To his luck, it started pouring when he dragged himself out of his childhood bed wrapped in his comforter around midday. He was feeling lazy, courtesy of the weather and planned on doing nothing but snuggling up on his parents couch to watch TV. Before he sinks into the familiar spot on the lounge he had worn a dip into throughout his life, he makes a quick stop into the kitchen. His parents had bought him some snacks to start off his weeks, a packet of popcorn catches his eye and immediately finds its way into the microwave. He opens the fridge, hand shooting down to the lowest shelf where there was a stash of Coke cans. He didn’t want to admit it had become some sort of muscle memory from the three days he’d already spent cooped up in his parents home. </p><p>Not really in the mood for anything in particular, Changbin was more than happy to aimlessly watch The Simpson reruns. He cranks the volume, aiming for that “cinematic experience.” He doesn’t have the luxury of watching TV loudly in his apartment, mainly because he shares it with a guy that’s sensitive to sound and there’s a young couple with a newborn in the apartment next to them. It’s nice. </p><p>He’s lost himself in the episodes, already four episodes in and completely oblivious to anything else around him when the smell of popcorn wafts through the air, getting stronger. Before he could remember the forgotten popcorn, a body flings itself and droplets of water over the backrest of the couch and a bowl of popcorn is shoved into his lap. Changbin doesn’t even have time to scream. </p><p>“This was on last night.” Long fingers pluck some kernels out of the bowl and Changbin follows them up to the owners mouth, Seungmin’s face coming into vision. </p><p>“What the fuck?” His friend is drenched, hair matted to his forehead and clothes clinging to his body. “Is that my shirt?” </p><p>Seungmin looks down at the faded faces of the popular boy band members and shrugs. “I think so?” </p><p>Changbin wrestles his way out of his blanket cave because the side that the younger is touching is getting damp. He instructs Seungmin to get up, asking what he was thinking, sitting on the couch wet before leading him to the bathroom. </p><p>“I’m just getting you a towel and some clothes. Did you ride here or something?” </p><p>“How else would I have got here?” His response told Changbin that his parents were out of town again and that there’s an old bike probably just dropped at the bottom of the porch steps. </p><p>“How’d you get in?” He wouldn’t put it past Seungmin to pick the lock considering it’s happened before. He passes the towel and clothes through the crack in the door.</p><p>“Spare key,” Seungmin gives him a thumbs up before closing the door and Changbin hears the water start. “I put it back in its hidey hole though, don’t worry.” </p><p>He’s glad that he was so used to Seungmin showing up whenever because if it was anyone else he’d be in a completely different mood. The couch though… </p><p>Changbin steals his mum’s hair dryer from her bathroom, humming to himself while he waits for the hot air to dry up the Seungmin shaped spot on the old floral print material. When he deemed the spot to be dry enough, and definitely not because his back was starting to ache from leaning over, he flops back onto the cushions. The Simpsons is still playing, a scene where Homer had bought a motorbike flashing across the screen and he sees Seungmin enter his peripheral. He throws a handful of popcorn into his mouth. </p><p>“Whatcha think of me getting a motorcycle?” He holds back his grin, chewing and eyeing his friend to gauge his reaction. </p><p>“No.”</p><p>“We could be like Bart and Homer, you could teach me to ride.” He wiggls his eyebrows at his stupid joke causing Seungmin to screw his face up.</p><p>“What the fuck! That’s so wrong dude, hell no.” Seungmin shoves Changbin out of his space, the older cackling. </p><p>They settle into a comfortable silence. The bowl of popcorn was quickly inhaled and the episode came to an end. The channel changes programs, a flurry of ads feeling like they were simultaneously taking forever and three seconds to end. Changbin liked moments like this. They were comfy and they felt familiar. He was glad that Seungmin was one of those chill hangout people, and not like some of his friends in the city who had to be going out for their time spent together to mean something. He wonders if it was the same for Seungmin; memories of the year he was gone popped up like a slideshow in Changbin’s mind. His friend always needed to be moving, never staying in one spot for too long, at least he was never at Changbin’s apartment for longer than an hour. He thought that the whole thing was behind him by now, that he didn’t really need to know what Seungmin was doing for that whole year but now he desperately needed to know. His chest feels heavy with being left in the dark.</p><p>“Hey what wer-”</p><p> </p><p>“Wanna go outside for a bit?” Changbin was cut off from asking the question and he ignores the words sitting on his tongue. He looks out the window and sees that the sky is still dreary and grey, raindrops rolling into the windowpane cracks. </p><p>“It’s not getting any lighter…” The idea of sitting out in the rain fills Changbin with this sudden want to be there in the moment. A weird mix of something incredibly sad but freeing swirled in his stomach. </p><p>“It’ll be good.” Seungmin is looking at him so expectantly. “I promise.” </p><p> </p><p>“This kinda sucks.” Seungmin just laughs at him. </p><p>They find themselves sitting on Changbin’s childhood trampoline in his backyard. They’ve been here a million times before, springs squealing under their combined weight. Changbin tries his best to not slip over with the nonexistent grip that the rain provided, so he lays down face up. He quickly changes his mind when his face gets pelted with droplets. Rolling over, he sticks his arm through the gap in the springs and starts plucking blades of grass from the ground, weaving them together chaotically. There’s no method to his actions, all he hopes is that they’d stay stuck together. </p><p>“What’s your thoughts on Y2K?” Breaking the silence, Seungmin waits for Changbin to roll back over. </p><p>“What’s that?” Changbin has no idea what the younger one is talking about. It sounds weirdly futuristic and he wonders if this was another conspiracy theory of Seungmin’s. </p><p>He sits up, scooting close to Seungmin and sees that he’s pulled a blue push pop out of his pocket. Seungmin holds it in his mouth for a while, rolling his eyes when Changbin motions for him to hurry up. The candy exits Seungmin’s mouth with a pop. </p><p>“The year 2000. People think that the computers are gonna freak out or something when the year ends. That their systems can’t take it and that something bad's gonna happen.” He shoves the push pop back into his mouth. “Apparently the ‘Code’ is failing.”</p><p>Changbin slides the grass bracelet under the wrist that’s resting in Seungmin’s lap and struggles to tie the two ends together. He listens to his friend talk about theories and grow increasingly more passionate.</p><p>“You know what I saw at the mall the other day?” Seungmin’s looking a little crazed and despite that, Changbin still entertains him. “Survival kits.”</p><p>“It’s not even December yet.” </p><p>“You can’t put a time frame on preparing for the end of the world, Bin.” </p><p>“So you think the world’s ending?” He brings Seungmin’s wrist up to his mouth and tightens the knot with his teeth. A little piece of it rips off and he spits it over the edge. </p><p>Seungmin’s looking at Changbin with an intensity that makes the older shy away somewhat. “If it does, I’d be okay with it.” </p><p>Of course, he gets asked why. </p><p>“We’re friends.. And if the world had to end I wouldn’t want it any other way.” </p><p>Suddenly the rain is warm. It’s like a blanket has wrapped around Changbin and he’s safe. He hasn’t seen Seungmin this vulnerable in a long time, so long that he can’t even think of the last time he’d witnessed his friend be so open with his feelings. He’s happy. He’s not 23 with a job living out of home anymore. He’s 10 again and he’s playing crack the egg with Seungmin and they’re laughing in the sun. Everything’s easy and free of responsibilities and he wonders when things went wrong. He’s overwhelmed and he knows that he can’t be equally vulnerable in this moment because if he opens himself up to emotions, everything will come crashing down and he can’t risk Seungmin slipping through his fingers again. </p><p>“I’d die a virgin.” There’s tension behind his confession and he hopes that his voice was monotone enough to hide how closed up his throat feels. The words tumbled out in an effort to distract himself and now he’s left to clean up the beans. “I’ve never even kissed anyone, why are you acting so surprised dude?”</p><p>Seungmin lets out a delayed sound of surprise. “If you want, I can change that.”</p><p>He’s embarrassed, not because of his lack of getting some but because of how casually Seungmin is treating it. It wasn’t really that big of a deal in the first place, Changbin most definitely was not expecting that reaction though. “Don’t tell me you’ve…”</p><p>“I had a girlfriend.” </p><p>It’s news to Changbin. The first time he’s heard of this girlfriend of Seungmin’s, or ex at least. </p><p>“I never knew-“ </p><p>“I didn’t tell many people. It’s not your fault.” Seungmin shifts forward slightly and the trampoline bounces lightly.</p><p>“Did she meet your parents?” Changbin feels a pull toward his friend. He’s not sure why, but the energy has shifted weirdly and  they’re in each other’s space, inches away from touching noses. This is the closest they’ve ever been. </p><p>“Not like you have.” </p><p>He realises what’s happening now. </p><p>“Are we about to-?” His heart is racing and he can’t keep his eyes fixed on any one spot of Seungmin. They move around his friend's face, taking in the way Seungmin’s grown into his features. He sees every scar and mark and blemishes that he’s noticed in passing but never really paid attention to and they all make Seungmin that much more handsome. </p><p>“Only if you want to.” Seungmin’s breath ghosts over Changbin’s lips and they both shiver. </p><p>“Wait, I didn’t even know you were…” He’s quickly learning there are a lot of things he doesn’t know about Seungmin. </p><p>“I don’t really care.” Changbin sighs in relief and Seungmin nuzzles his nose against his cheek. </p><p>“I’m gay.” It’s the first time he’s said it out loud, his eyes pricking with tears and he hopes that he can blame it on the rain. He wishes he could take it back for a split second, worry clouding his judgement even though his friend had just said he doesn’t care. </p><p>“Okay.” Seungmin doesn’t care.</p><p>“Okay? Where should I put my hands?” Changbin’s eyes squeeze shut because he’s embarrassed from asking. Seungmin laces his fingers with one of Changbin’s hands and rests them on top of Changbin’s thigh.</p><p>“Comfy?” He brushes Changbin’s wet hair out of his face, pecking his nose before pressing their foreheads against each other. </p><p>“Yep. Are you going to-“ </p><p>“If you shut up, yes.” They laugh together, one out of nervousness and the other in endearment. The sound of the rain gets overpowered by Changbin’s heart beating in his ears. </p><p>“Okay, shutting up.” </p><p>“Ready?” </p><p>“Just kiss me.” </p><p>Changbin doesn’t feel anything but the rain for a few seconds, then a wet palm against his cheek and finally, the press of Seungmin’s lips against his. So this was kissing. They weren’t warm, instead they were cool from the rain and there were no sparks or fireworks or whirlwinds of butterflies, but Changbin felt a warmth bloom within him. All from just touching his lips to Seungmin’s. Seungmin’s lips move slowly, massaging Changbin’s and it honestly feels really nice. He understands why people do this. </p><p>“You need to copy me, it’s like kissing a dead fish right now.” Seungmin’s thumb strokes the skin of his friend's cheek. </p><p>Changbin hadn’t realised that he was just sitting there without kissing back. He feels stupid, head ducking in embarrassment and they laugh. “Sorry…”</p><p>“It’s okay, just follow me, that’s all.” </p><p>It feels infinitely better the second time. Changbin could spend forever lip locked like this in the rain, and even in the sunlight and in the crisp air of autumn. He wants this forever and for the briefest of moments he thinks that he only wants this with Seungmin. The thought is pushed from the front of his mind to the back, where it’ll haunt him in the late hours of the night, because Seungmin’s pushing further into his space and there’s something warm and wet tracing his bottom lip. He breaths in his nose sharply and parts his lips. That’s what he’s meant to do right? Cautiously, Seungmin’s tongue slips into Changbin’s mouth, sliding against his own tongue and it feels weird, but Changbin gives it the benefit of the doubt for now. He remembers what Seungmin told him and warily mirrors Seungmin’s action. He tastes like rain and blue push pop, an interesting combination but Changbin thinks it suits Seungmin in an odd way. </p><p>He gets a tug on the hem of his shirt and the material unsticks from Changbin’s skin, the cool breeze sends a chill down his spine. Testing the waters, Changbin finds his way onto his knees, one hand bracing himself on the trampoline and the other cupping Seungmin’s jaw to keep their mouths working against each other. He drops himself onto Seungmin’s lap with a bit too much force, drawing a surprised groan from his friend and sending them bouncing. They break apart and they both struggle to get them steadied. Changbin notices his friend's large hand on his waist and the warmth he feels inside gets warmer. He tries not to think about it but Seungmin’s dived back in, lips and tongue working skillfully that Changbin can’t help but release a pleasured noise.</p><p>He pulls away only to make his way across Seungmin’s jaw and down his neck, littering his skin with kisses. He’s seen it in the movies multiple times, and from the way he can feel Seungmin’s pulse pick up and breath hitch under his lips, he can tell he’s doing somewhat of a decent job. His friend’s necklace gets in the way of Changbin’s endeavours, a peace sign choker probably from a dollar store that Changbin thinks it’s so undeniably Seungmin and he tugs on it with his teeth. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing when he starts sucking lightly on Seungmin’s neck. </p><p>“You have to try a little harder if you want anything to happen.” There’s a loud crunch beside Changbin’s ear and it startles him. Seungmin’s bit off a chunk out of his push pop and he’s grinding it between his teeth. </p><p>“You’re eating when I’m trying to give you a hickey?” A part of Changbin mustn’t care too much because he’s right back at it, even going as far as to give a few experimental bites. The skin starts going red and that’s when he knows it’s time to stop. </p><p>An idea forms in Changbin’s head and he’s not sure where the confidence came from but he wraps a hand around Seungmin’s, taking the hard candy into his mouth and he sucks the flavour down happily, gut swirling with heat. It’s suggestive. He knows that, and Seungmin knows it too. There’s a tight squeeze on his hip and it spurs him on. Changbin leans in, mouth eagerly claiming Seungmin’s and he kisses his best friend with fervour. Seungmin gives Changbin the chance to lead, going along with whatever the older wants. He almost can’t believe that it’s happening. They work each other out, slowly adapting and figuring out what the other likes and before long, they’re somewhere in the middle. Changbin wonders why he’s waited so long to try this; why they haven't done this sooner. </p><p>They move together comfortably. Changbin tries moving his hips, just to see what would happen, and Seungmin surprises him by pushing him onto his back and crawling on top. With every movement, they bounce, and the rain sliding off the strands of Seungmin’s hair hit Changbin’s face with each bounce. They stare at each other for a heartbeat and Changbin pulls his friend down again by his cheeks hoping that he gets pressed into the mesh. Their hips move together with no real intention and Changbin’s happy to find out he’s not the only one so affected. Seungmin grinds softly, not enough to gain a real reaction out of Changbin but the right amount that gives him a taste. Just as Changbin was really getting into it, chest curving to fit like a puzzle piece with Seungmin, their kiss is cut short. </p><p>“As much as I’d love to keep going,” Changbin tries his hardest to not show his disappointment when Seungmin pauses. “I wanna go to the video store because they close soon.” </p><p>And Changbin can’t be that disappointed because it’s Seungmin, and he just got to make out with Seungmin for longer than he ever thought he would and going to the video store sounds amazing right now. </p><p>“Are you sleeping over then?” He knows his friend is going to say yes but hope still rises in his chest. </p><p>“I mean yeah,” Seungmin’s eyes slide down to where Changbin is trying to cover himself and he knowingly smiles before adjusting himself in a similar fashion. “I’m not gonna just leave you.” </p><p>“Leave me? Oh-” Changbin catches on and he can’t stop himself from blushing like an idiot. “Oh, so we’re gonna do… I didn’t know if you wanted to-”</p><p>His words cause Changbin to stammer. They weigh heavy too, probably meaning more to Changbin than Seungmin had intended and he wonders if somewhere deep down Seungmin means it like Changbin wants him to. Because he doesn’t know if at any random second, Seungmin would get up and disappear again. He doesn’t know if he can handle any more twenty minute drop ins. </p><p> </p><p>They ride to the local video store on Seungmin’s bike. The rain has settled down to light spitting but both of them are soaked through still. Normally, Changbin wouldn’t even think of stepping foot into a store drenched as he stands outside trying his best to wring out the water from his clothes, especially since this was the store he was trained in, but Seungmin doesn’t seem to care and he thinks ‘fuck it’ and follows him inside. The store is empty which doesn’t surprise Changbin given the time of day, save for a girl he had never seen working the counter and two middle school looking kids. Changbin follows Seungmin through the store, happy to just let the younger choose what he wants. Besides, there’s nothing that Changbin is particularly interested in watching because his head is still replaying the moments on the trampoline. They weave their ways through the aisles and somewhere along the way, Changbin’s hand is engulfed in Seungmin’s. The action makes his chest beat and he wonders why because it’s not the first time they’ve held hands. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s the first time they’ve held hands in well over ten years that gives Changbin the chest feelings. Eventually, they find themselves in Changbin’s least favourite section. </p><p>“Now I know you don’t like horror-” </p><p>“If you know, why are we here?” Changbin hopes Seungmin can’t feel how erratically his heart is beating when he gets pulled into a hug. He eyes the counter and notices that the girl has vanished. “Someone might see us…”</p><p>“I just think it would be fun. Like old times, please?” </p><p>Changbin is swayed for the millionth time by Seungmin. He’s a sucker for nostalgia and watching scary movies with Seungmin after their parents had fallen asleep were some of his favourite memories. Although the movies left him terrified, Seungmin was always there next to him when he fell asleep. He figures that’s why he hasn’t touched a horror movie in a while. </p><p>Seungmin was here now though, and he was very present. He was like a kid in a candy shop, mouth full of cavities while Changbin was fresh out of the dentist. He’d never understand what horror did for Seungmin but if it bought him more time to hang out with his friend, he wouldn’t turn one scary movie down. They leave the store, not without a dirty look from the employee at the state of them dripping water everywhere, and Changbin almost makes it to Seungmin’s bike when he's roughly pulled behind the building. </p><p>“Shit-”</p><p>Changbin is met with Seungmin grinning wildly and he matches that energy. He lets himself get pushed up against the grimy wall, breathlessly laughing when Seungmin cages him against it. They kiss like they’re starving; like they’re making up for lost time somehow. It fills Changbin with such a heady rush that he can’t think straight. The only thing on his mind is Seungmin. Seungmin who’s kissing him like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do, bodies touching so closely and it makes Changbin feel so needed by someone for once, it’s not funny. </p><p>“You’re still hard?” Seungmin trails his lips down Changbin’s neck and dips behind his ear. Changbin didn’t even know he was sensitive there until now. </p><p>“Hah- Yeah.” Seungmin kissing him was more than enough to rile him up and he wasn’t too sure if that was a good or bad thing yet. </p><p>“Can I touch you?” </p><p>“Yes, please.” He’s never said yes to anything faster. That’s all he’s been wanting for since the trampoline. </p><p>Seungmin spits into his palm as Changbin makes work of his shorts, pushing them down his thighs and out of the way. The spit makes him shudder internally, but something is better than nothing and he’s way too keen to put this on a lube intermission. Seungmin’s palm is uncharacteristically soft and Changbin decides very quickly, within the first few pumps, that he definitely does not mind it at all. Everything is different from his usual jack off sessions. Seungmin moves like he has all the time in the world, working at a steady pace, making sure that Changbin feels and enjoys every touch and slide despite the fact that they’re outside, in public nonetheless. It gives Changbin a thrill and his mind races around the thoughts that they could potentially get caught. He grabs Seungmin’s face greedily and wastes no time in licking past his lips. He moans when his friend spreads his precum across the head of his dick and he pulls away with a gasp. </p><p>“Faster!” The teasing pace was all fun and games but his release is building up scarily fast now. Seungmin of course obliges, spitting into his hand again. </p><p>He’s so close, a couple more tugs and he’d be spilling into Seungmin’s hand. Changbin had never been so vocal, maybe it was being with Seungmin that made him not care. Or maybe this was what it was like when you’re with a partner. Either way, the only things that matter to him at this moment is Seungmin and getting off, so much so that he doesn’t register the sound of voices and the hand that clamps itself tightly over his mouth.</p><p>He cums hard; surprisingly silent, the tiniest hint of what sounds like a choked breath. He doesn’t realise his vision had blacked until he comes to, Seungmin reappearing in splotches. </p><p>“I think I went momentarily blind.” His body feels gross, clothes musty and damp from the rain and cum streaked on his shirt. He whines. Seungmin kisses him briefly before wiping his soiled hand on the inside of Changbin’s shirt which just makes him whine louder. “I could go for a shower.”</p><p>“How about we take one when we get home?” The implication that he meant together is enough to have Changbin pulling them out from behind the building and mounting Seungmin’s bike himself. </p><p>“How the fuck do you ride this thing?” He’s fumbling around, trying to balance the bike and push off at the same time but he keeps slipping. </p><p>“Chill out. Are you really that excited for a shower?” </p><p>Changbin gawks, no fucks left to give about being embarrassed. </p><p>“You just said we could shower together. Hurry up and get us home!” </p><p> </p><p>A quick pit stop at the grocery store puts a momentary hold on their joint shower, only because Seungmin suggested that they should buy supplies which led them into a conversation about preparation and cleanliness. “We need to be safe.” </p><p>They make it back to Changbin’s house in one piece, thankfully not any more wet since the rain decided it was done for the day. He tries his best to contain the energy that’s building up inside him but Seungmin knows him too well and anything he does is easily read by his friend. Seungmin smiles down at him sweetly and Changbin can’t help but smile back just as bright. He feels like he’s in this never ending honeymoon phase. They aren’t even dating, that’s a whole other thing, but the whole day just keeps giving him things to feel elated about. He never once thought he’d be kissing his best friend, let alone getting jerked off all in the span of a few hours. Seungmin doesn’t seem like he’s putting an end to things either and as much as Changbin is happy to be finally okay enough to be so open with someone, he feels a sense of doubt about it all. The last thing he’s going to do is not bring it up. </p><p>They make it to the shower quickly. It isn’t even about Seungmin anymore, mostly. Changbin is just so tired of having wet clothes clinging to him. His skin feels gross and he’s starting to shiver. The shower spray is so welcoming. Hot steam quickly fills the room until Changbin can’t see Seungmin’s reflection getting undressed in the mirror anymore and he steps in first. His skin prickles from the temperature change, and he starts soaping his body, scrubbing away all the invisible grime left from the rain. The shower curtain is pulled shut and Seungmin’s there in the tiny space, not saying anything and reaching for the soap out of Changbin’s hands with a small smile. </p><p>Changbin feels like he shouldn’t be standing under the water, not with Seungmin right there. But then again, it’s no different from swimming with him. He’s swam with Seungmin so many times, there’s no reason for him to be strung so tight. Seungmin is very naked though and despite there not being much room, he’s not staying out of Changbin’s space. Changbin could shift his leg the tiniest amount and he’d have Seungmin’s dick pressed against his thigh. It’s not like a part of him doesn’t want that, because he kind of really does, it’s just that he needs some space before he implodes or combusts or something. </p><p>“Do you want me to get your back?” For whatever reason he just asks to get closer, but at least that means Seungmin’s limp dick won’t face him anymore. Changbin holds his hand out and Seungmin shrugs, turning around. </p><p>His friend’s back is smooth and jealousy flares up inside Changbin because he knows Seungmin isn’t spending his free time with a hand tucked in his shirt’s arm hole picking at back pimple scabs. He scrubs him down, albeit a little roughly in an attempt to avoid any mushy feelings, but he gets the job done. Seungmin keeps his back turned for a second longer and Changbin’s gut tells him to make a move, so he does. Throwing all his previous attempts at keeping it strictly friends showering, he lightly trails his finger between the moles on Seungmin’s back. His eyes flick up to gauge his friend’s reaction and when Seungmin relaxes he continues. He tentatively places his other hand on Seungmin’s waist as he makes constellations on his skin. It’s therapeutic and the combination of the steam almost causes him to relax as well except there's one thing he needs to do and Seungmin isn’t facing him so he takes his chance. </p><p>“You’re not just… Using me or something, right?” His hands come to a rest on Seungmin’s hips and he holds his breath. “Like I’m not just a quick fuck?”</p><p>“What?” Seungmin turns around in Changbin’s hold, face a mix of confusion and worry. “No, what the fuck? I haven’t even cum yet.” </p><p>“What has that got to do with anything?” He brushes it off and reaches for the shampoo, pouring some of it into Seungmin’s hands and placing them in his hair, silently asking him to wash it. “We haven't talked about anything. You literally jerked me off outside of Blockbuster and didn’t say a word.” </p><p>“Did you not want me to?” Seungmin’s fingers feel amazing in Changbin’s hair and his eyes slip shut. </p><p>“No, I really wanted you to but that’s not the point.” </p><p>“Do you want me to tell you that I’m attracted to you? Because I’m seriously attracted to you. I’m not fucking you just for the sex.” </p><p>It’s a relief and enough for Changbin. As much as he wants to know what exactly Seungmin means by that, he knows if he asks anymore questions the conversation is going to shift into something he’s not really sure if he’s ready for in the end. “I’m not fucking you for the sex either.” </p><p>“That’s good to know.” Seungmin washes the suds out of Changbin’s hair before taking the conditioner and rubbing it into the older’s hair. He massages Changbin’s scalp, rubbing all the tension away and it draws out a pleased moan. </p><p>They stay like that for a minute. Changbin doesn’t want to break the silence because he’s super comfortable and it’s almost like Seungmin’s turned into a mind reader. </p><p>“Do you need any help cleaning? You remember what I said?” Changbin remembers, definitely. </p><p>“I’m good, I think. Can you stay in the room though? Just in case…” Seungmin leans the short distance down to kiss Changbin’s forehead and steps out of the shower to give Changbin some space. </p><p>Cleaning and prepping goes… Well enough he thinks. There’s not much he can really do given the fact that he wasn’t completely prepared for where the day was taking him. </p><p>“Maybe it would be better if this was a hookup,” Changbin hears Seungmin laugh and his spirit is lifted. “I would’ve had more time to do this shit properly.” </p><p> </p><p>The movie really isn’t all that scary. Sure, Changbin jumps a few times but overall, he finds it to be almost comedic the way that the villain runs around with his sleeves flapping around him. He’s curled up against Seungmin’s side, per Seungmin’s request, on his tiny bed that’s not big enough for the both of them. They’re in his room, and it’s just like when they were kids. The whole day had been just like they were kids, besides everything that happened in between and Changbin feels so, so nostalgic that he clutches to anything that’ll remind him of when things were easy. He drags his eyes away from the scene playing on the TV to look at the source of his warmth. Seungmin looks so focused, somehow invested in whatever is happening on screen. Changbin doesn’t know how much longer is left of the film but it’s been playing for ages and Seungmin hasn’t bat one eye at him the whole time. It’s as if he’s forgotten they’re meant to be having sex at some point. So he kisses him. Sweetly drags him in with a finger hooked in Seungmin’s choker. </p><p>“What’s that for?” </p><p>“Remember when we used to hang out like this?” He’s feeling bold so he bites teasingly at Seungmin’s lip.</p><p>“I would remember kissing you, for sure.” Seungmin doesn’t say it in any particular way that would garner a lapful of Changbin, but it happens anyway. </p><p>Changbin’s learned by now that Seungmin likes things slow, which is funny considering they’ve moved pretty fast. He takes his time, mapping out the inside of Seungmin’s mouth and getting as close as he possibly can. He’s so warm and it drives Changbin so wild, he’s left wondering how someone with Seungmin’s build could generate so much heat. Maybe he’s just turned on. </p><p>“What about when we got drunk for the first time together? You were so hungover the next day.”</p><p>“You have no idea how badly I wanted to kiss you then.” Seungmin catches him off guard. </p><p>He wants to think about the sudden confession some more and take the time to process the implication behind it. He feels bad that he can’t say he felt the same way. There’s no time for thinking though. Not when Seungmin’s getting handsy, palms running up Changbin’s thighs and under the hem of his sleep shorts. His touch feels electric on Changbin’s skin. It’s ticklish and warm and sends shivers up his spine. Changbin would become addicted if he could. Every touch from Seungmin adds heat to the fire already in Changbin’s stomach and his body reacts with interest each time. He’s been looking forward to this the whole day that he lets the usual embarrassment of getting hard so quickly not matter for once. Seungmin doesn’t mention it either, not like he could have any say because Changbin can see the bulge in the boxers he leant him. </p><p>“I wanna blow you.” </p><p>Seungmin lets him without a second thought. Changbin crawls down his bed so the other has room to get comfortable. He’s very quickly face to face with Seungmin’s far from limp dick. With no real idea of what to do, Changbin takes a hold of it at the base and gives a curious lick to the tip. </p><p>“I don’t know what I’m doing.” Seungmin laughs softly and combs a hand through Changbin’s slightly damp hair and Changbin panics. “You’re not a pusher are you?” </p><p>“No! I promise I’m not.” Seungmin gives Changbin some gentle instructions and some pointers as well, gasping when Changbin moves before he finishes, lips suddenly wrapped around his dick. </p><p>Clumsily, Changbin tries to figure out how to move his tongue along Seungmin’s length while he moves. His mind plays him a slideshow of every porn he’s ever seen and he thinks it’s a good idea to mirror the actions of the actors. That means… Deepthroating. It’s daunting now that he’s on the giving end and it seems like it’s a bit of an advanced move for him. It looks like it feels amazing on the receiving end though, but holy shit Changbin doesn’t even know if he can fit all of Seungmin in. His friend isn’t even that huge, he’s very average, Changbin just doesn’t know if his mouth is big enough. He tries though, each downwards movement he makes, he forces a little more into his mouth. Honestly, it’s a little uncomfortable and his jaw is starting to hurt and maybe he regrets asking. He’s not a quitter however and that all goes to shit when he gags, thankfully not that hard, but he gags all the same and he doesn’t enjoy it one bit. </p><p>“Hey, you don’t have to go all the way.” Seungmin’s voice is caring, so much so that Changbin doesn’t feel bad about pulling off. “Just, do what makes you feel comfortable, okay?”</p><p>“Okay… But did it feel good?” </p><p>“Yeah, I want you to feel okay though. We can do something else if you want?” Changbin wants to move on and Seungmin doesn’t make a fuss about it. </p><p>“That honestly sucked for me.” They burst into a fit of laughter at Changbin’s unintentional joke. “Um, so what else?” </p><p>The one thing Changbin definitely knows how to do is jerk off so he wraps his hand around Seungmin’s cock and strokes. Pressing their chests together, Changbin kisses Seungmin deeply. It’s full of promise and he hopes that the other can feel him asking to be taken care of. He’s nervous, working off some kind of autopilot and there are butterflies on fire in his chest. Seungmin calms him more than anyone else could. Changbin adds Seungmin pressing his fingers into his hips and asking to take his shorts off on his list of things he now loves. They’re both pantsless, Seungmin releasing soft moans against Changbin’s lips as they touch each other. He’s so close to where Changbin needs him, stupidly deft fingers finding purchase on his thighs and massaging circles into the sensitive skin so close to his hardness making the muscles in his legs twitch. </p><p>“Touch me.” He wants it so badly. </p><p>Seungmin tells him to lay down on his back, running his hands up Changbin’s shirt when he listens. He’s confused for a second because Seungmin doesn’t immediately drape himself over him, rather he spreads Changbin’s legs and cozies up on the floor beside the bed so he’s breathing against Changbin’s cock. He’s prepared for it, curious about whether Seungmin’s mouth is as good as it looks. Lifting his hips in hopes that Seungmin will just hurry up and stop breathing on his junk, Changbin’s not prepared for feeling Seungmin lick across his hole. </p><p>“What-” </p><p>“This okay?” Seungmin looks good kneeling between his legs and Changbin nods. </p><p>“Yeah, I guess.” He’s met with a stare that means his friend isn’t fully convinced but trusting him anyway. </p><p>It’s weird at first. Everything is weird at first but this was really weird. Seungmin’s licking his asshole and Changbin realises that he wasn’t being asked to clean just for Seungmin’s dick. It gets better when Seungmin’s pretty hand starts palming his cock and playing with the tip. His ass cheeks are spread further apart and the next swipe of Seungmin’s tongue gives him jolts. Seungmin’s tongue is flat and wet and feels so good that he doesn’t even notice he’s subtly shifting his hips, chasing the feeling when Seungmin pulls away only to dive back in. Before he knows it, he’s grinding against Seungmin’s mouth and thrusting up into his hand. Seungmin smiles wide with his tongue stuck out at Changbin’s thrown back head. They moan together and it’s a sweet sound, something that Changbin hopes he’ll remember forever. </p><p>“Min.” Changbin reaches for Seungmin’s hair and holds his face close. Seungmin works faster and deeper. “It’s good.” </p><p>Changbin doesn’t have the chance to savour the last moments of Seungmin tonguing him. Sighing, he collects his breath when Seungmin moves away to fish through the shopping bag for the lube and condoms they bought earlier. The bed creaks when Seungmin slides back onto it, grinning at Changbin. </p><p>“Good?” </p><p>“The best.” His heart is beating so fast as he watches Seungmin pour lube on his fingers. Seungmin slaps Changbin’s thigh playfully. </p><p>“You wouldn’t know any different.” It’s lighthearted when he says it. “Ready?”</p><p>He’s been ready. For hours. Seungmin’s fingers are cold when they press against Changbin’s entrance. It’s uncomfortable when the first finger pushes in and the stretch hurts when Seungmin adds another. Changbin is appreciative of how Seungmin waits on his words and only moves when he’s one hundred percent positive that he’s okay. The only good thing that comes out of being fingered is when Seungmin brushes against his prostate. Changbin curses every time it’s touched and he sees stars. </p><p>“I think I could cum.” </p><p>“Are you telling me to hurry up?” </p><p>“Maybe.” Seungmin promises him he’ll go slow. That doesn’t prepare Changbin at all for the feeling. </p><p>Changbin doesn’t really want to make it a big deal but he feels like his ass is being ripped in half and it feels like it’s not going to get any better. It’s definitely not what he was expecting. Of course, he knew it wasn’t going to be the easiest of things but Seungmin didn’t even give him the run down of how much it would actually hurt. He wonders if Seungmin has even bottomed before. He doesn't wanna bring it up because he knows that even though it doesn't feel like it, it will end up feeling good. Hopefully. </p><p>He looks down for the first time and he feels like he’s at a clinic getting his blood taken and he looks at the wrong time. Seungmin’s barely in him. Maybe if he just thought of it like a bandaid. What if he asked Seungmin to just push all the way in. Everything in his body screams at him not to, so he’s left to suffer the moments until Seungmin bottoms out, hips flush with Changbin’s thighs. He releases a shaky moan. It’s a really weird pressure, like his body is trying to reject how filled he feels. Weirdly enough, the feeling of Seungmin inside him is comforting in a way. </p><p>“You okay?” Seungmin softly presses down on Changbin’s thighs to position him better, legs spread and slightly raised, and the shift in positions causes him to brush against that spot in Changbin again. </p><p>His stomach gets a soothing caress when he gasps and twitches. “I’m super. Apart from feeling like my ass is on fire.” </p><p>“I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you.” </p><p>“It’s fine really,” Changbin shifts his hips to check if he’s ready and is excited to find out it’s not that bad anymore. “Move?” </p><p>The bearable discomfort is swiftly exchanged for pleasure because the angle Seungmin has him at allows for him to slide against his prostate with every thrust. Pain does bleed into pleasure. Changbin’s lost in the feeling of how Seungmin switches from holding him down by his waist and pounding him to making sure Changbin feels every inch as he slowly slides in while stroking his cock. It’s the closest thing Changbin would consider to be heaven on earth. </p><p>“I’m close.” He can barely get it out because he chokes on a moan. </p><p>“Yeah?” Seungmin speeds up his movements on Changbin’s length, “You gonna cum?”</p><p>Changbin keens because Seungmin is doing everything right and he’s so hot and he’s right there. A string of curses flow out past his lips and his climax hits him. “Seungmin!” </p><p>He releases across his chest and he’s so worn out. But Seungmin hasn’t cum yet, he hasn’t cum all day and Changbin wants that to change. </p><p>“How far-” </p><p>“Almost. You feel so good.” Changbin’s whole body tightens in response and Seungmin gasps. “Holy shit-“ </p><p>Seungmin rides out his orgasm close to Changbin. He’s caged against the bed with his friend groaning softly against his neck and he doesn’t want them to move. But Seungmin gets up eventually, remnants of Changbin’s cum on his shirt and Changbin thinks about how many shirts of his they’ve ruined today. He watches as the younger strips off and wriggles his way into a pair of Changbin’s boxers. </p><p>“Shirt.” </p><p>Sitting up, Changbin also strips and sits with his back against the wall, hands covering himself. He hands Seungmin the stained shirt and slips on the pair of shorts thrown his way. Seungmin slips out of the room for a minute, presumably going to the bathroom, and comes back with a glass of water to which he holds out for Changbin. They take turns sipping from the glass, and everything is just really comfortable. </p><p>“That was fun.” Changbin doesn’t know why he feels kind of cut up about how casual Seungmin is acting. </p><p>“Yeah, I guess I won’t be dying a virgin now.” He remembers why this happened in the first place and he tries to fight the urge to speak up about all of his issues but they slip out regardless. “So, were you ever going to tell me you had a girlfriend?” </p><p>“I already said that I barely told anyone.” </p><p>“We’re best friends. I would’ve liked to at least know you were seeing someone.” Seungmin’s posture doesn’t change, he’s still sprawled out in the corner of the bed, but his face is cold and it reminds Changbin of when Seungmin wasn’t a constant in his life. </p><p>“I barely saw you when I was with her-“ </p><p>“What’s up with that by the way?” </p><p>He has every right to be hurt by it. He’s gone how many years without knowing what his best friend was up to and he never got any answers whenever he tried asking. There’s only so much he can take and as much as he knows Seungmin doesn’t have to tell him, he just wants to know so he can put it to rest. </p><p>“I’m not having a deep and meaningful after we fucked.” </p><p>Changbin can tell that’s his cue to shut up and put the next movie on. He fights with himself over whether he should just drop it and accept the fact that he’s never going to get an answer. As much as he doesn’t want to fight with Seungmin, he knew that the time would come and he knew that it would be over this. </p><p>“I just wanna know why you left without saying anything. Or why you dropped out even. Where did you go?” He tries his best to hold back the tears and it’s useless because they just end up spilling over anyway. </p><p>Seungmin sits there in silence. It hurts to look at him because he so clearly doesn’t want to be having this conversation. He’s just completely shut himself off and left Changbin hanging. Changbin knows that it’s not his fault for the most part, but he can’t help but feel guilty because he brought it up. Maybe he’s just never meant to know. Maybe it’s best if he just let Seungmin have this collection of secrets. </p><p>“You know what, forget it.” </p><p>He gets up, changing over the VHS to a more lighthearted movie in an effort to diffuse the situation. They sit in silence for half the movie, the whole time Changbin is feeling restless and he can’t even look at Seungmin. He feels dejected. It doesn’t stop Seungmin from wordlessly tucking them both under the covers hours later, arms wrapped around Changbin’s waist and it leaves a bittersweet taste in his mouth. He’s hanging onto the last strings of consciousness and he swears he can hear Seungmin whisper something into his hair but he falls asleep before he can make any sense of it. </p><p>And when he wakes up, still in Seungmin’s embrace, he convinces himself that he’ll never know that part of Seungmin’s life and it’s fine.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I just wanna say thank you so much for making it to the end &lt;33 super sorry for the sad vibes but there's no stopping a fic when it runs it's course</p><p>u can find me here !! </p><p> <a href="https://twitter.com/grotkingji">twitter</a><br/><a href="https://curiouscat.me/grotkingji">curious cat</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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